Linux For Cynics One user's experiences with Linux


How to Bring Linux to Mainstream Use



Fork the kernel and install all sorts of proprietary garbage in it (more than what it currently contains). That way you'll please all the hardware OEMs.

Create your own display server, one that isn't as convoluted and as picky as X, but make sure it's got enough security holes for OEMs to abuse.

Hide all that under some bloated Java VM. That way you'll effectively have a Java OS running a Linux kernel, not a GNU/Linux OS. That way, you can piss off both Oracle and Stallman at the same time. Brilliant.

Create a repository, but forget the review process. Just let every Tom, Dick and Harry developer put their fart apps on it for people to download and use. Screw security. Only worry about an application after a few thousand users have been conned by it, not before. Also, give those con-men ways to monetize, since they need to eat.

Again, screw security. It's been proven that users don't want that. They've grown too accustomed to Windows and want something similar. At the same time, give them multiple avenues to pirate stuff, because it's what they did when they used Windows and they love it like that. Hey, if you let devs and OEMs do what they want, you gotta give users that same right too, you know. That's what 'freedom' is all about; Wild-West, baby!!

It won't hurt to include a crapload of bloated widgets. Users seem to love that sort "bling", even if it is about as useless as a Hollywood socialite.

Skeuomorph everything. Aesthetic/design consistency is overrated!


Oh wait, didn't Google do all that already. Darn!!

(Reproduced from:

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